The Messaging Times

Imagine walking into a party. It’s wall to wall, standing-room only and you don’t know a soul. Sure, you’re a cool guy with a lot of interesting adventures to talk about. But how do you get attention and peak interest in your story when there are so many other stories being swapped at the scene?

Here are 10 tips to communicate better online, or at a party.

1. Dress appropriately

First impressions mean a lot. Dressing appropriately for a party is essential. If you overdress, people won’t feel comfortable around you. If you under dress, they might feel that you don’t have any style. Online, your website should reflect the dress sense of your target audience. If you are at a web 2.0 party and show up with a big hotmail.com tee shirt, there will be a disconnect.

2. Join conversations

It’s a party after all, isn’t it? While it might feel awkward to participate in a conversation when you don’t know anyone, it is the only way to get to know people. Introduce yourself and listen to what is being said. Online, be respectful of the existing group dynamic of a blog or discussion board and join in when you have something relevant to say. Ask questions if you don’t have anything to add.

3. Bring some beer

It’s never acceptable to come to someone’s party empty handed. Always bring something to the table. Online, offer readers interesting insights and valuable content.

4. Me me me

Don’t talk about yourself all the time. Sure, you might be very interesting and strikingly good looking, but there are other people in the room; and they might be interesting too. Online, refrain from self-promotion whenever possible, unless it is in context to the discussion.

5. Don’t drink too much

The line between fun and annoying is a thin one. Avoid embarrassment by not over-indulging in the spirit world. Online, always keep a foot grounded in sobriety and professionalism. Don’t be a clown if it isn’t a children’s party. The Internet can make us as uninhibited as alcohol can – be careful about how your uninhibited self behaves.

6. Don’t be boring

There is a room full of people at the party. You don’t have time to give everyone your life story or show them the photographs from your last trip to the supermarket. Online, keep your interactions brief and to the point. Brevity is the key to modern communication. I’ll leave it at that.

7. Be courteous

If you disagree with someone, don’t pour your drink on them and cackle uncontrollably. Make your point without insulting other guests, or (especially) the host. Online, don’t over-react to opposing views. They’re out there and always will be. State your case politely and agree to disagree if you fail to persuade those with different opinions.

8. Have a sense of humor

There are too many serious things going on in this world without you adding to the drama. Loosen the tie and talk about football every now and again. The hot mama in the black cocktail dress probably isn’t interested in how cutting edge your work is. Neither are the majority of people online. Online, there are many bloggers and pundits who take themselves all too seriously. They speak as if their word is gospel. Learn to laugh at yourself and don’t take everything too seriously. Oh, how I’m tempted to name names. Just go to a tech conference and you’ll see what I mean.

9. Don’t throw up on your hosts new carpet

This sort of just speaks for itself. Online, don’t spam email, blogs or discussion boards. Engage in conversations and enjoy yourself. Just don’t torture us with projectile self-promotion and astrotrufing.

10. Don’t forget to say goodbye

Always take the time to say goodbye to your host. Thank them for the party and their hospitality. Online, communicate your appreciation for people who link to you and always leave a signature before you leave in the event that somebody wants to get in touch and invite you to another party!